


In the Bleak Midwinter

by tmwillson3



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Feel-good, Heartwarming, Homeless Shelter, Kissing, Mention of Therapy, Mention of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28304895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmwillson3/pseuds/tmwillson3
Summary: Given community service after one too many violent outbursts, Ben’s life is changed upon meeting the formerly homeless Rey, who volunteers at the soup kitchen where he’s assigned.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43
Collections: World Between Worlds Holiday Cookie Exchange 2020





	In the Bleak Midwinter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JadeLight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeLight/gifts).



> Edit: Katara, I saw your third prompt, and I loved it. This was supposed to be less than 1k...that didn't happen. I hope you'll enjoy this! Merry Christmas!
> 
> Katara, you were totally right about all of it. It's me. 
> 
> Third prompt: Given community service after one too many violent outbursts, Ben’s life is changed upon meeting the formerly homeless Rey who volunteers at the soup kitchen where he’s assigned.

"Welcome to Skywalker Soup Kitchen! We're happy you're here."

The sole blonde woman with two scraggly buns standing at the door had a megawatt smile, but it was empty, meaningless. Like sunlight on a clear day in the middle of winter, there was no warmth felt; it was only a mockery of what was desired but could not be had. 

Ben couldn't be bothered to care or acknowledge her beyond a grunt. It may have been mid-June, but he was in the endless winter of his life. In the bleak mid-winter, the people were like the earth, hard as iron, unforgiving like stone.

His life had seemed dead for years, but now he was frozen in place like the bodies of water around him. He was no longer adrift; he was encased in ice, unable to break free with no end in sight. It was his fault he was brought to this new low, but not really. 

"This is such a joke," he muttered dismissively, taking in the round tables with groups of people gathered around them. 

When his eyes beheld the long line of people in line for a tuna fish sandwich, apple, and chips, he laughed. Ben Solo had always laughed at the idea of Skywalker Soup Kitchen. It was a way to show that the rich and powerful family cared about the community. 

The problem was that they didn't. His parents, even his mayor mother, hadn't cared about him. Neither had his family, nor his teachers. If he had friends, they wouldn't have cared, either. He was left out in the cold, lonely and even more miserable than Ebenezer Scrooge.

His situation was only exacerbated when Snoke hired him and encouraged his temper and violent outbursts to get ahead, but it came back to bite Ben. He had always seemed above the law...until he wasn't. 

That was when he was arrested. He had had run-ins before, but this time was different. He had used his mother as an excuse, and the people dropped charges. This time, he defaced and broke public property after punching someone, so he was assigned community service.

At his family's soup kitchen. 

"Welcome, stranger!" said an overly enthusiastic man. His nametag said that his name was Finn, and he tried to shake Ben's hand.

Ben recoiled, scowling at the man who sought entrance past the wall of ice surrounding his heart. "Just tell me where Maz is."

"Oh, you're one of those," said Finn with enlightened eyes, looking him up and down as Ben gave him a death glare. "Avoid talking to anyone. I don't want your attitude to spread. I'll get her now."

Ben didn't appreciate being thought of like that. Sure, he walked in jobless and kicked out of his penthouse apartment because he made the family look bad, but he wasn't like these people! 

He was living with his parents, and he would find work...eventually. His parents' lawyer had suggested laying low until it all blew over, and he didn't mind. He was shocked to see his parents friendly again after so much arguing in their initial years of marriage. It was strange that they wanted to reconcile with him. 

No one wanted him now, except his parents. Even then, he still thought it was because they wanted him to stop making them look bad. He was angry at the world for treating him like that and then being shocked that he came out this way. 

Broken. Abandoned. Treated like the snow and slush on the side of the road, unwanted by all and tainted. Snow had fallen, snow on snow, piled high in the drifts until there was no way out for him. Of course he retaliated with anger and destruction at the gilded ice palace around him, for it was merely a cage. 

He watched Finn head to the back, taking a moment to observe the whole place. He had never stepped foot in the soup kitchen before, but he had seen photos taken for news stories. The inside looked cheery with blue and white tiles, but it was the people walking inside that made him cringe. 

Greasy hair. Black garbage bags in hand. Shirts in various states of disrepair. Shoes that were falling apart. The sheer amount of grime made him consider investing in more cleaning supplies, but the oddest thing about all the people there was their smile. 

Despite seeming to have nothing, they were happy. How? Why?

It occurred to him that it was most likely because they were receiving free stuff here. They were undeserving and taking advantage of his family's generosity. 

He was better than this. He was better than them. 

Until he saw  _ her.  _

She didn't belong there. Unlike the other volunteers, she was a burst of summer with her yellow shirt, sparkling smile with dimples, and genuine warmth that exuded from her face and whole body as she handed sandwiches to each person. Her three buns bounced like sleigh bells on the end of a string, and her cute, little freckles that she graced each person with, she was like sunshine. 

He had never seen anyone look so genuinely happy. 

He stared at her until Maz, the head of the kitchen appeared. "Ben Solo!" When he nodded slightly, she huffed and dragged him into the back to explain how everything worked. "Well, come on then, Grinch. You need something desperately, and I need more people."

"I'm useless to you; I don't believe in this place," he said when they were alone.

"I don't care," she returned, pushing her coke bottle glasses up her nose and pulling him down to her level by his black polo shirt. “I’ve lived for a long time, son. Long enough to see the same eyes in different people.” She adjusted the glasses again. “I’m looking at the eyes of a man who's angry at the world and doesn't appreciate anything within it," she said solemnly. 

“You don’t know a thing about me,” Ben said in frustration. “Where I’m from. What I’ve seen. How I've been treated.”

For a short moment, she gazed at him with compassion, and then she eyed him with no pity. "I know enough. Buck up, Solo; I'm worse than your parole officer."

After years of being carefully handled by everyone, it was refreshing to be treated like a normal person by Maz as she yelled at him and told him what he would be doing. 

"Since you're so grumpy, you'll stand next to Rey. I saw the way you looked at her earlier...don't get any ideas," warned Maz, giving him a hard look as she gave him a hair net and apron to wear. 

Ben couldn't resist doing the complete opposite of what she said when she said it like that. He had ideas, and he was going to talk to Rey, that ball of sunshine that confused him. 

Not at all because he loved her eyes and smile. 

Maz led him to Rey, who turned a smile on him until Maz said his name. "This is Ben Solo, Leia's boy. I trust you to keep an eye on him and make sure he works."

"I will do that. Ben," she said, eyeing his clothes and designer shoes warily. 

"Rey," he replied, ruffled that she seemed to write him off already, whether because of his name, clothing, or something else entirely.

Normally, he didn't care if people judged him and found him lacking, or simply thought him a monster. He was a cold-hearted businessman, used to such things. For some odd reason, though, he didn't want to be seen as such by Rey. 

She was the first glimpse of real sunlight in his life. He bristled when she turned around to smile at everyone else, reminding him how dark his life was otherwise. 

"You're not even trying to talk to me," he grumbled after a few moments. 

"I'm here to serve others, not socialize," she said primly, handing out another sandwich.

Her back was ramrod straight, clearly uncomfortable now, and he felt his temper flare up. "So am I. You were talking to everyone else before I arrived."

She spared him a brief glance, pointedly ignoring his later statement. "That's why you're standing there, doing nothing."

He stepped closer to her, voice cold as ice. "I wasn't told what to do."

"Then you could ask, or simply pick up a sandwich and help me like a normal person would do," she said, looking ahead. "This basket is almost empty. You could take it and refill it with more sandwiches."

He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "There's tuna fish filling all over it--"

"And you're wearing gloves. Afraid of a little hard labor and dirt?" she asked, hands going to her hips as she turned to face him. 

There was no one else in line, which helped, and he was grateful for it. To have all of her focused on him was a lessening of the storm around him, a respite amid the howling winds that tried to knock him down any other time. While he still didn't like being thought of as dainty and to be handled carefully, he could deal with that. 

"No."

"So you're above it," she said, folding her arms across her chest. 

She hated him, and she didn't even know him! His hands balled into fists at his side. "And you're not even willing to give me a chance, despite never meeting me before today."

"But I know plenty of people like you," she shot back, getting in his face. "Rich, born with a silver spoon in their mouth, handed everything, and unable to appreciate any of it. Do you have any idea how good you have it, or did have it?" she asked. When his face heated up, she added, "Tell me you didn't walk in here and judge everyone instantly. You dismissed me and everyone else without giving us a chance. Why should I treat you differently?"

He opened and closed his mouth before chewing on his words. Finally, he backed away, ceding the argument to her. "No one has ever cared about me; I don't know why I expected you to be different. I'm a monster, and I always will be."

He turned and grabbed the basket, needing to get away from her. She surprised him, though, by following him and showing him where everything was located. After that, they went back to the counter and passed out sandwiches together. 

For the first day, he remained silent. He tried to smile when Rey told him to, but when it came out like a grimace, she told him to not bother. They didn't chat with one another, and he was exhausted when the last people left the soup kitchen. Rey disappeared seconds later, and he resigned himself to always being alone. 

Maz forced him to help her move heavy containers, and when she let him leave, he was almost to the door when he noticed Rey. 

Her smile blinded him with its intensity, like sunlight sparkling in the snow. She was talking to Finn underneath a tall set of shelves that they had just finished stacking flour on for storage. He heard the telltale groan of the shelf, and he reacted instinctively, calling her name before tackling her to the ground, seconds before the shelf fell and brought down the rest with it. 

The glass jars of flour crashed and broke, and he saw a cloud of flour settle around him like the first snow of the year, the fresh powder lightly dancing around them. All he did was hold Rey tighter, not wanting her to be injured. He stared at the checkered tiles, clutching her in his grasp until he heard his name.

"Ben?"

She sounded so small and scared. He turned his face and met hers, realizing belatedly that he was probably crushing her beneath him. To his shock, she wasn't scared. She was looking warmly at him, as though she were grateful.

He adjusted his knees to take most of his weight off her. "I'm sorry. I--"

"Don't be. You saved me," she interrupted, fingers brushing against his cheeks. "Thank you."

If her smile was warm, her touch was burning hot. He practically melted into her grasp, concentrating on the pads of her fingers as they caressed him, as well as the way her thumbs held his chin. He never wanted her to stop.

"You're welcome. You would've done the same for me," he replied, bringing flour-covered fingers to knock excess flour from her hair. 

He gazed at her, lost in her soft eyes and the wide smile that was the light in his darkness. He could've stared at her forever. 

"Alright, you two, no more lying down on the job! We swept up the glass and food around you. Let's get you up so we can check you out for injuries," said Maz, waking them both up from their daze.

Ben barely got up before Rey scooted away, putting much distance between them. He would've felt more hurt were it not for the way she kept sneaking glances at him. He did the same until they were released. 

"Thank you, Ben, for your quick thinking," said Maz as he prepared to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You're welcome," he mumbled, eyes hooked on Rey as she stood at the doorway, waiting for him, a shining light amid the dark. He headed toward her, and they walked out in silence.

"See you tomorrow?" she asked, pausing at a blue beater.

"Yes." 

He would have said more, but she gifted him her brightest smile yet, as though she were glad he was coming back. 

"Okay, good. We will talk more tomorrow," she said, coming up to him and squeezing his hand. "Thank you again, Ben."

She waved and dashed away before he could respond, but it was enough. He saw the genuine feeling, and even if it was gratitude, he would take it. She saw  _ him.  _ A man. Someone with feelings, not someone to be ignored, nor a spoiled rich boy, nor someone to be used. Just Ben. 

She was the first.

\----------

He arrived the next day in a slightly better mood. He wanted to believe that Rey would remember him and see him, but he didn't. He had been burned too many times. 

With a look chillier than the Arctic ocean, he greeted all, even Rey. She, however, would have none of it. She had a hair net and plastic gloves ready for him, and a smile that reached her eyes. She  _ forced  _ him to talk.

"How are you?" 

"Tired. Bored. Not wanting to be here," he grumped, taking the offered items. When her face fell, he couldn't bear the thought of hurting her. He blurted, "Thank you. You're the only bright spot in all this. I never felt so alone as I did yesterday."

She was the blazing hearth that tried to set his cold heart ablaze. She made him feel things he hadn't felt in a long time, just by seeming hurt to see him upset. 

She took his hand, then his wrist with both of hers, squeezing in understanding. "You're not alone. I know exactly what it's like to be here, at your lowest. I was once on the other side of this counter. If I can do it, so can you." As his mouth gaped, she smiled and added, "You'll rise above this one day, too. I'll help you."

He couldn't believe his ears. It was impossible. He was saved from answering by the arrival of others, but he made a point later during their slow time to ask her how she was and what she did now. In turn, she continued to turn and smile at him throughout the day, and she chatted either gimme when she could, always explaining how things worked or telling him the backstory of the various people there.

The thought of her being homeless baffled him, and then for her to want to come back when things turned around shocked him to his core. People didn't do that. They thought of themselves only. She was different, and he liked it, more than he could say. 

The day passed quickly after that, as did each successive day. He didn't talk a lot to Rey in those first few weeks, as they were kept busy while volunteering. They kept the same format, with her always asking him how he was, and he always answering in the negative. Once in a while, he would mention small tidbits about his life, such as where he lived and how he hated his family to explain himself. His mood slowly changed, however, and after a month of being there, he began to look forward to his time there, if only to see Rey.

At home, it was still awkward around his family. For a job, no one still took a second look at him. All of the friends of his past life had dispersed, but he didn't feel alone.

It was impossible to feel that way when Rey looked at him day after day as though he were the spring sun that would melt the winter snow. Truth be told, she was that for him. In the bleak mid-winter of his desolation, she was the rays of the sun that could thaw his frozen heart. The frosty winds of life moaned and whipped him to and fro...until he found this solace, this beacon of hope. 

For her and her alone, he pushed through the torture of lowering himself to serve others. 

He yearned to know Rey's story, of how she came to be there and like that, but he was afraid to ask. Afraid of ruining the tentative truce between them. Luckily for him, Maz had to call off one day for a doctor appointment, and Finn stepped up. 

When Ben took his lunch break that day, Rey joined him, a mischievous look in her eyes as she pulled out her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

"Since Maz isn't here to give us the evil eye, we can finally talk. I see the way you look at me, Ben. You want to ask me something. What is it? Ask me anything."

It was too good to pass up. He leaned in. "Will you tell me your story?" he asked quietly, taking her hand. "How you came to be homeless and rose above it?" He stared at his folded hands. "I want to understand why you're so happy when you've been treated so poorly. For that matter, how."

She took his hands, making him glance into her hazel depths. It was the brown of a rich wood, and it created just as much heat.

"I'd love to," she said softly. "No one ever asks since they all know me. It's a sad story."

"It can't be any worse than mine," he said, home-cooked food forgotten as he pushed his hands toward her. "I'll tell you mine if you'll tell me yours first."

"I'd like that, more than anything," she whispered, cheeks reddening. "I want to know you, too. I hate that I've misjudged you."

"Everyone has. It doesn't matter," he said dismissively, shutting his mouth when she glared at him.

"Yes, it does. Everyone did the same thing with me, and I hated it. I don't like being reduced to a name, or how I look or act. I'm a real person, with feelings and dreams," she said passionately. 

All he wanted was to tell that he felt the same way. It was confusing at first to find someone who understood, but he quickly grew to like it. "I want to know them all. Your dreams," he clarified. "When you feel comfortable sharing them with me."

She nodded, blushing prettily. "First my story. My parents were poor and left me out on the street when I was five. I was put in the foster care system after that, cycling through homes until a man named Unkar Plutt took me in."

Ice filled his veins at the way she spit the man's name. "What did he do?"

"He was a cruel man who kept me because he could use me at his scrap yard turned auto shop. When I was a little older, he forced me to help with his secret chop shop, threatening to turn me out on the street if I didn't help him. He verbally abused me for years and paid me under the table until I couldn't deal with it anymore," she said, looking away with haunted eyes.

"You stood up for yourself?" he asked, firmly grasping her hands to show her he was still there for her.

She smiled weakly. "Yes. I had just graduated high school and was eighteen. I told him I refused to do anything else illegal, and when he ignored me, I packed up my meager things and left. I was homeless for a year, and that was when I began coming here." She smiled a little more at that. "This became my home."

He stared at her in awe, unsure how the tiny building with squat chairs and mediocre food could be so. "How?" 

"Because I found people who cared about me. Who believed in me," she answered, grinning. "After having nothing for so long, I now have so much. I am grateful for every single thing I am given now."

He nodded, starting to understand why she and so many others smiled everyday. 

She twiddled her thumbs idly. "At first, I didn't talk to anyone. I just took my portion and left. Then, when it became cold, I sat down and chatted with other homeless people, which led to Finn befriending me. He was the first, followed by Maz."

After seeing the brother/sister relationship between Finn and Rey, not to mention the protective way Maz spoke of Rey, it all made sense. "Did one of them help you find lodging or a job?"

"Both," she replied, pulling away to bite into her food. "Maz put a good word in for me at a cheap set of apartments. Finn introduced me to Poe Dameron, his best friend. He pays me double what I got under Unkar."

Ben did a double-take. "Dameron, as in the car dealership owner?" 

Rey's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Yes, the same! He needed another mechanic, and I can fix anything. Or hot wire it, as the need arises."

She gave him a rueful look, and he chuckled. "I bet you're his best mechanic now."

Her whole face was filled with pride. "I am. I'm indispensable."

"That is incredible," he said, truly impressed. "Not many would try so hard to rise above their circumstances like that."

"Why are you so resigned to yours?" she asked, leaning in expectantly. "You have so much going for you and available to you. Do you want to stay like this until you're thrown out by your family and forced to become like I was?"

He had had an answer prepared, but when she worded it like that, it forced him to face an ugly truth, one he was beginning to think was why he hated this place so much. 

He was afraid. Afraid of ending up like the people he served, neglected and forgotten. Jobless and homeless. He was already on his way.

It shook him to his core. He didn't want to be like that. He never had. All he had ever wanted was to be loved by his parents, noticed. When he placed his trust in the wrong person, he foolishly thought his parents were jealous and ignored them until it was too late. 

He liked to think that he wasn't in the wrong, but it wasn't true. He didn't want to own up to all his mistakes. That would require him to face his painful past, and especially his parents. To acknowledge that he had failed, as much as they had. 

"No," he said, choked up. "I want the past to die."

"It can't until you make peace with it and forgive yourself," she said, taking his hand. "Tell me your story. Everything. They don't need us for a couple hours."

He did just that. He couldn't resist the invitation, the chance to help her understand. He still wanted to believe he wasn't at fault, but the more he told her of his parents -- their neglect of him, and the way he dealt with it -- the more he hated himself. 

"In one way, we share a special bond," she remarked, hope shining in her eyes. "We both know what it means to be abandoned by our family. I know you better than most."

"Thank you," he said, near tears. No one wanted to associate with him; they all distanced themselves. "I wish it had been you who found me first, not Snoke."

He told her of how he interned with Snoke while getting his accounting degree and MBA. Of how he was manipulated and used by Snoke, of how his parents warned him, and of how he foolishly ignored them because he thought he knew better and didn't need them. She cringed when she heard how he treated clients, business enemies, and the like, but she quickly learned to hate Snoke. By the time he admitted his laundry list of brushes with the law, she was sitting beside him, hands on his wrist and thigh to comfort him. 

"This is the mess that I am," he finally said, looking away. "I would understand if you never want to see me again. I am spoiled and ungrateful, but most of all, I'm angry." He buried his face in his hands, his fear and self-loathing swirling about him as sorrow hit him square in the gut. "I don't know how to break free of it. I want to be free of this pain."

She gently caressed his arm and hair until he stared up into her caramel orbs, simmering with new emotions and depths that he wanted to drown in. "I can't help you with that, speaking from experience. Only a professional can," she said quietly. "But I will stand by your side and be here for you if you would like it. There's so much hope for you."

"Thank you," he said, getting up when Finn peeked his head in and pointed to his wrist. 

"And think about talking to your parents. I bet they would love to actually reconnect with you, or even attend therapy with you," she suggested, standing. 

He gave her a hard look. "I just told you everything wrong with my family."

"So now you need to be honest and tell them your side of the story! And then talk about it. Why lose your family unnecessarily?" she asked, walking beside him to their station.

"I'll think about it."

"You better. I'll hound you until you do something," she warned him as they put on their gear.

She did.

\-----------

For weeks, she pestered him daily about how things were with his parents, who were just as persistent in cornering him at home and asking him to have dinner with them. 

Besieged on both fronts by a force greater than his self-loathing, the ice in his heart was chipped away by pickaxes, bit by bit. Day by day. Kind word by loving touch. 

Rey was the first. He couldn't believe it, and he didn't want to. He wanted to protect his heart, especially after every other time that he had been let down, but that was no match for the desire he had, to know Rey. He was drawn inexplicably to her, and with each day he spent in her sunlight, she warmed the chill. 

It took longer for his parents to reach him. There were years of disbelief and bias against them, and he turned them away at every turn. However, with every day that they persisted patiently, as well as never brought up his past, he had to begrudgingly admit that it wasn't all for show or publicity. As stubborn as his mother was, she wouldn't keep that up for months. 

At some level, he knew that she loved him. It was a special bond they had always shared, even from when he was young. It had made her lack of attention toward him all that more painful a betrayal. 

The change came about when he decided to test them. Knowing full well that both had very important dinner meetings the following night, he told them that he wanted to have dinner with them to begin to make things right. 

Both came, and early at that. His mother was home two hours early to make dinner herself. He was forced to talk that night, and for once, he didn't regret it. 

"You were right," he told Rey the next day in disbelief. "They both canceled for me."

She hugged him tight. "That's great news! Were you able to talk a little?" she asked, seemingly ready to burst. 

He nodded, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. "Yes. We’re going to talk a little the next few days and see where it goes. If I feel safe, I'll ask them to go to therapy with me."

His parents were overjoyed when he asked them. It began a long process for him, to deal with the anger management and his family trauma, but neither parent ignored him. If anything, they paid more attention to him and asked him even more questions about himself, including how such a change had been wrought. He was unwilling to divulge details at first, so he settled for asking them about what they did. 

It was after one such meal that he came in to volunteer as usual, and he had lunch with Rey again. She usually came in for a few hours every day, afternoons some days and mornings others depending on her work schedule. That day, she was perkier than usual.

"You're in a good mood," he remarked, handing her something from his lunch since she always eyed his fancier, larger meals.

"I received permission to attend college by Poe. I've been slowly saving up for it, and I'm planning to work through college," she explained, feet tapping. 

"You want to go to college?" he asked, dropping his sandwich. "For what?"

"A mechanical engineer. I want to work with or design cars," she admitted, shoulders hunching as she leaned in. "Is that unlikely to happen? Are there ways to do it without loans?"

"That is perfect for you. It's doable for you," he said, patting her hand comfortingly. "I think you could get loans or grants, but focus on scholarships," he suggested, lowering his voice. "Have you looked at the Skywalker Family Scholarship? My mother just mentioned it at dinner last night."

Her eyes went wide. "No. What is it?"

They spent the rest of the lunch discussing the scholarship and ways to find others. He made a point of discussing it with his mother, and after showing minimal interest in it, she managed to convince him to join the board for the scholarship, among other charitable things his family did. 

It was only then he saw how much his family did, and how much good they created. He visited other places and met others who had benefited from his family's generosity. More importantly, he finally sat down at tables with the homeless and listened to their stories, just as he had with Rey. She had pushed him for months to see humanity in all, and he didn't truly see it until then. Once he started, he sought all of them out. 

Each person had a story, and he gained much from his time listening. He gained a new appreciation for his life, for how good he had it. It humbled him and showed him how much he had to be grateful for, including his parents. He gained new friends, and in helping them selflessly, he learned to live for more than himself. None of them would ever be able to repay him back, and he was okay with it.

Most importantly, he discovered countless others who had been forgotten or abandoned by the world. After dealing with that for so long, he did everything in his power to show them that they weren't alone. 

His knowledge gained from the soup kitchen extended to all the other charitable groups he became a part of, and he listened to all stories, even volunteering to help certain people to do their taxes since they didn't know how to navigate the confusing tax laws, unlike him. When he agreed to help Rey with hers since it was her first time ever doing it on her own, she invited him to her home to get an idea of what to expect once her tax documents came.

To be allowed into her life in a greater way felt like coming home to him. Her apartment was tiny and filled with secondhand furniture, but it was hers. She was proud of it, and when he showed that he could cook, she encouraged him to come over at least once a week. Once Rey got the Skywalker scholarship and others, he sat with her and helped her plot out how to be ready for spring semester classes, starting at a community college.

In that way, his first five months of community service passed quickly. He was still without a job, but he had a growing relationship with his family. He was even smiling more. Best yet, Finn and Rey were his friends now, even if he wanted more with Rey. 

The fear of ruining their friendship, though, held him fast. 

In November, it all passed by in a blur. After discussing options with his parents, Rey, and Maz, he still had no idea what to do for a job. Luckily, Finn suggested he join a place that specialized in taxes, something he knew better than anyone else, and the crazy plan worked. 

He invited both Finn and Rey to his parents' home to celebrate his new job, and when Finn left, Ben pulled Rey aside -- after much encouragement from his parents.

He stared silently at his folded hands until she took them in hers. At that, he hurriedly said, "I'm helping cook Thanksgiving dinner here this year. I know you usually celebrate with Finn and the others--"

"I'd love to celebrate with you," she interrupted, embracing him. With a wry grin, she added, "Especially if you're cooking. One of these days, maybe closer to Christmas, you should cook for everyone at the soup kitchen."

"If I do, you have to help me," he insisted, melting into the hug and sliding his arms around her.

"Done. How about on your last day with us?" she asked. "As a way to say goodbye?"

"Sure." He squeezed her a little tighter, the thought of leaving her a distant ways off, even if it filled him with dread.

He didn't want to say goodbye to her.

She tightened her hold on him in turn. They had hugged before, but this time felt different somehow. She smelled better, like vanilla and sugar, and she seemed as little inclined to let go as he did. 

It was  _ perfect _ . In their own little world, he could tell himself that she liked him, too. Christmas had come early for him. They stayed like that for what felt like forever, until his father cleared his throat and told them they were needed to help clean the dishes. 

It was an unspoken agreement between them after that. They spent every moment together that they could. On Thanksgiving, she came early to help him create a feast fit for a princess. His uncles Luke, Chewie, and Lando came for the festivities, as did his elderly grandparents. Rey became best friends with the ancient cats, Artoo and Threepio, and when everyone was gathered around the table, eating and chatting -- or arguing in the case of some -- it was as though Rey had always been there. 

Rey stayed until almost midnight talking to everyone, and it was the first Thanksgiving Ben celebrated with his family in over ten years. He couldn't have imagined a better one. Both he and Rey were reluctant to leave. 

"Thank you for inviting me today. I had an amazing day with you," said Rey when they were standing next to her tiny two-door car. 

"Me too." He slipped his arms around her, bringing her against the length of him, savoring every moment of her where she belonged. "I hope this isn't the last time we can do this together."

In the twinkling light of the midnight moon and stars reflecting on freshly fallen snow, Rey's eyes were glassy, almost white. He could've stayed there forever. Emotion shined in them, and when she leaned in, with her forehead just beneath his chin, her head tilted up. 

The urge to kiss her was impossible to resist. He cradled her face, staring long into her eyes and when they both moved in, he thought they would.

"Ben! What are you still doing out there? Are you trying to catch a cold?" called his mother, waking both up from a dream.

As Rey chuckled, Ben assured his mother otherwise and guided Rey into her car. As he drove home, a small, persistent flame of hope sprang up within him, that Rey did care for him. 

That hope only grew with each passing day, and Rey made it a point to discuss the goodbye meal with him every day. 

The day before his last day, Rey made her own announcement, standing in front of the whole group gathered. She had discussed it with Ben and Finn at length, and her whole body trembled as she spoke.

"As most of you know, I'm attending community college in January so I can chase my dream of becoming a mechanical engineer. However, with a full course load and work, I will be unable to volunteer here regularly like I have been. Starting in the new year, it pains me to say that I have to leave the comfort and safety of this place."

As several stirred and murmured excitedly, she rushed onward. "But this isn't goodbye. I do plan to drop in occasionally for a surprise visit when time permits. You are all the family I never had, and I will miss you," she said, eyes focusing on Ben a second, "dearly. Thank you all for your support; it means more to me than you'll ever know."

As the room erupted in applause, Ben found it hard to breathe. He clapped louder than anyone, but as he looked around the room and saw how happy they all were for her, there was also sadness. 

They were going to lose both her and him in a short period of time; was he ready to do that? Was he ready to let go?

After he left the shelter, he called his boss and went shopping. When things were settled to his satisfaction, he entered the Skywalker Soup Kitchen with full hands and Rey at his side. They prepped for three hours to have everything ready, with pancakes, eggs, sausage, bacon, and fruit laid out for all as Finn and others decorated the building. Kaydel and Jannah hung up garlands along the walls, and Maz fed Finn Christmas lights. 

Many asked why Ben was doing such a thing, and he remained tight-lipped until all were seated and fed. At that, he stood to make his own announcement. 

"As many of you might recall, I came here because I was forced to do community service. I hated everyone--"

"Except Rey!" shouted one person in the crowd. 

"Except Rey. She's special," allowed Ben, glancing at her briefly and feeling his heart grow three sizes at the beatific smile she gave him. After forcing himself to concentrate once more on the crowd, he said, "Today marks six months that I've been required to be here, the end of my time. Consider this meal my early Christmas gift to you. I didn't expect to make friends or connect with any of you, but I have. Thank you for teaching me the true meaning of gratitude and friendship."

"Are you leaving, too?" asked someone else.

"I considered it," said Ben, making all the whispering cease. "However, like Rey, I am unwilling to let go of you completely. That is why I discussed it with my supervisor, and he agreed that as long as it wasn't the busy season, I could come here weekly. Merry Christmas," he said amid cheers. 

Those cheers turned to whoops and catcalls as Rey ran forward, encircling his waist and kissing him. Caught in the moment, he kissed her back, swinging her around before putting her back down and staring long into her eyes. 

They didn't stop until Finn broke them up, and even then, they couldn't take their eyes off each other the rest of the day, sneaking glances even while chatting with others. 

When they left for the day, they were barely in the fresh powder before Ben approached her, red-faced and anxious. 

"Rey, I, did you mean that? Earlier?" he asked, folding his hands so she couldn't see how he fiddled with them.

She met his eyes. "You mean kiss you?" she asked, pulling her cap onto her head tighter.

Nerves hit him, and he loosened his red scarf. "Yes. Do you like me? I know I have no right, especially as you're going to be busy, but I--"

Her hands arrested his, undoing his scarf and tying it around both of their necks, stopping his voice. "Yes. Do you like me?"

He nodded, too scared to speak. "For a long time."

He feared he said the wrong thing until she threw her arms around him, tugging him against her and nestling herself under his chin. "Really?"

"I know I'm a mess," he said, touching his leather gloves to her cheeks, "but what I feel for you is real. I didn't know I could until you. You've opened my world."

"I'm just as much a mess if you haven't noticed. I'm still trying to get on my feet and figure out my life. I didn't want a distraction, and I didn't expect a pretty boy with a chip on his shoulder to show me that there's truly hope for anyone, even the ones who used to look down on me." She gave him a small smile. "We'll grow together. I'm willing to wait and make it work."

"So am I," he said, leaning down and kissing her, reveling in the feel of soft, warm lips fluttering and the heat that bloomed between them. "Would you like to celebrate Christmas with my family? Or just me?"

Her grin filled her face, the light there brighter than all the Christmas lights at the Griswold residence. "Sure. I'm happy either way."

He dipped his head to lean his forehead against hers. "This is going to be the best Christmas ever. I have the greatest gift I could ask for: a second chance."

“We’ll make the most of it. I don't need anything for Christmas this year, either," she said, pulling the tails of his black winter hat over his ears. "I have all I need right here: you."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays!!


End file.
